ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
