Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
where are my eyebrows?
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