Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
