Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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