Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize