what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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