she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
