I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
