she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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