i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
