hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
