I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
