Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize