I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
