It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
