Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
40s are totally the cure
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
