Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
