Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
