Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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