some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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