Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
