Christians are straight up FREAKS
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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