Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I won the penis lottery.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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