Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
