I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
