If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
