non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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