Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
