I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
