Are we in a gay sports bar?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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