is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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