3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
