She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
