You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
