Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
