It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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