Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
