Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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