You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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