lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
