don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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