Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
there was a trapeze. enough said
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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