i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
