careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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