the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
