I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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