I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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