My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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