Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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