yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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