I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
