My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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