Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
