I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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