just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
