You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
