He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My dick has a subreddit
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
