is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
