then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
zippers are such a cool invention
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
