$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
