I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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