I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
