I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
