Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's never too late to be topless.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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