can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
