He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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