Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
