Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
