dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is Oprah even human
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize