I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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