im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
honey bunches of taint.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize